You are only as invincible as your smallest weakness.. I should be dead by now

Well, I really hate myself sometimes. I, like all humans, am inherently weak. I can't bring myself to go back to the dentist. I give up. I am getting suicidal just thinking about it and my grades are suffering. I will regret this later but I am going to delay going back to the dentist until after my A Levels. At least, if it gets bad enough, I'll have the excuse to go through everything under general anesthesia or heavy sedation. It might seem silly to you, my dear reader, that a mere scaling and polishing can have me in such dark dark moods but the fear runs so deep. It's ridiculous, really. But I can't help it. All I can do now is study hard, try to take care of my teeth and pray for the best. Maybe after all my exams are over, I can pluck up the courage to go. Am I pathetic? I think so..