Impending doom

I am seriously scared as hell. As I type this, my heart is fluttering like that of a hummingbird's. The appointment is tomorrow. I am not even close to being mentally prepared for this. I just wish I can die on the spot. I am telling myself that I'll be the one in control tomorrow and no one is going to force me like my mum did in my childhood. Things have also changed a lot in 10 years and it probably won't be as nightmarish this time. But I'm scared. So scared. I want to faint dead away now. Death will be peaceful. Tomorrow, I'll be blogging about my trip there and I'll be posting some pictures. Hopefully, it will all go well. Omg, I'm panicking so bad, my fingers feel numb..